Explosions

Trust.

It’s a word we all use a lot.

We build trust, we lose trust, we crave trust-worthiness, we look for something to trust in, we break trust, we don’t trust…

It’s as though we have emotional tentacles that are constantly reaching out in search of something solid, something to give us a guaranteed foothold for our next step in the dark.

I started thinking maybe I didn’t have a clue what trust actually was all about when I read Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning and passages like the following sunk into a dark, quiet place in the pit of my soul that longed for something radical, something wild and untamed to take over my life,

The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of the pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise

We have this chance to take a deep breath and step into the unknown and we can’t know what trust means until we’ve actually done it. Until we’ve taken the courage to say to God, “Your will be done” and mean it. I’ve only begun to taste it and it’s unlike anything you can imagine until you’re there.  It never stops being terrifying, but somehow knowing that all that has built up to create that terror in you is nothing compared to what God can do with the next moment, the next hour, the next day, month, or year. In this free-fall we begin to understand what we were created for, something reaches into the core of your being and says, “THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE DESIGNED FOR”, but it’s so hard getting to that place because everything about this world tries to tell us that that’s the last place we want to be.

I have only just begun to understand how I am designed for the explosions. I have spent so much time hiding from the bombs going off in my life, not understanding that every explosion creates something new, it makes more space for God to move and I can move with him if I can get myself to stop looking at my wounds and trying to find new places for shelter that might totally prevent further damage.

Don’t let fear back you into a corner in a world that needs your courage. Don’t be so distracted by “every day life” that you miss the many opportunities you have every day to trust God in a way that creates explosions in the world around you.

 

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2 thoughts on “Explosions

  1. Laura says:

    This is beautiful! There is so much in this post, Katie. It reminds me of my current season of leaving the church I’ve been at for over 24 years and having some “unfinished business.” To the very best of my ability, I have sought to humble myself, follow scripture, and seek godly counsel to be at peace with some people at my soon-to-be former church “as much as it depends on me.” But God has called me to move on and entrust the unfinished business, the lack of a visible apology and acknowledgement of wrongdoing on their part, to him. I know that I will not put parameters or a timeline on God, nor succumb to discouragement and bitterness regarding this issue. I trust the Lord to finish this business in his timing and his way. It seems so small, but to bless those who have hurt me, maligned and slandered me and truly bless them from my heart is RADICAL for me and where I believe the glory of God is being worked out in my life. I do feel God’s peace and will trust him, but that idea of, “Your will be done” is a biggie. It is a really exciting way to love because God’s rewards are very tangibly felt in your soul and seen in your life. God’s pleasure at your obedience and faith CANNOT BE BEAT.

    • Katie says:

      Thank you, Laura! It sounds like you are in a hard/exciting time right now! It’s amazing how difficult it can be to make those choices that we know God is leading us to make, but how immediate the peace is after we’ve made them. And I don’t say that to mean that the hardship disappears or that it is necessarily comfortable, but peace of the soul is present in knowing that you are kind of throwing yourself into God’s hands and letting him work out the details.

      I like that word ‘radical’.
      I am all about being radical in the way that we live, love, and trust!

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